November 16, 2006

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  I’m sure everyone has seen the Hewlett-Packard laptop commercials that have been on TV recently.  The first one in this series depicts rapper Jay-Z talking about all the things he has on his laptop and how it’s integrated into his everyday life.  It’s a pretty interesting commercial with some cool graphics.

  They continue this series of commercials with another music artist, Pharrell.  It’s based on the same concept as Jay-Z’s, although there’s something a little disconcerting about his commercial.  Sure, Pharrell is a multi-millionaire and can pretty much buy and sell me and this little corner of the internet called Dramamine Boy’s Xanga.  But still, when compared to Jay-Z’s commercial, he comes off looking kinda bad.

  Let’s take a look, shall we?

  Jay-Z works on a new song		Pharrell works on a new song

   

   

  Jay-Z reviews photos from Rocawear shoot in Aspen		Pharrell e-mails tennis shoe designs to asian sweat shop

   

   

  Jay-Z plays chess, a centuries-old game that is perhaps the most strategic game there is		Pharrell plays Pong

   

   

  Jay-Z mulls over new stadium blueprints for his NBA pro basketball team		Pharrell has computer e-cards for his pro skate team… is there even such a thing as a “pro” skate team!?!

   

   

  Jay-Z spends his time tracking his investments and planning his world tour		Pharrell spends his time on YouTube

   

   

  Jay-Z has paparazzi-free vacation photos from exotic lands		Pharrell has Microsoft Clip-Art

   

   

  World-travelling Jay-Z’s passport says “Shawn”		Pharrell’s licence plate-sized, Microsoft Clip-Art, Where’s Waldo necklace says… well, it says “Pharrell”

   

  You know what?  If I was Pharrell, I’d be pretty doggone upset right about now.  First, I’d be all happy that I’m gonna be in a HP laptop commercial, breaking down the stereotype that rappers aren’t sophisticated enough to use computers nor take advantage of the vast knowledge out there on the information superhighway.  And now, everyone is lookin’ at me like I’m Jay-Z’s flunkie.

   

  So, I’m pretty sure Pharrell went complaining to Hewlett-Packard and said something like,

   

  “Yo foo’, you bes’ recognize, cuz I be fittin’ ta bus’ a cap!”

   

  Or perhaps he had his lawyer file a cease and desist order… I don’t know.  Anyway, HP must’ve listened, because they made a new commerical to make Pharrell look better.  And who did they get for the third commercial?  Goofy professional snowboarder Shaun White!

   

  His computer has such gems as guitar lessons, videos of his crack-head friend, his MySpace page (he’s not even cool enough to have Xanga!) and designs for a gold satin-lined jacket with 700 zippered pockets.

   

  

   

  Shaun White mulls over his illegally downloaded music files

   

  I’m sure Shaun White’s sitting at home, yelling, “They’re making me look like a doofus!”, at his TV.  And it’s not like it’s entirely his fault.  If they brought these commercials out in reverse order and started this ad campaign with Shaun White, then his commercial would be pretty doggone cool.  Oh sure, his doofus-meter would steadily rise as the Pharrell and Jay-Z commercials followed, but he’d have his moment in the sun as would Pharrell.  Instead, they are both forced to be compared to Jay-Z’s grand empire.

   

  Heck, even the attire each guy wears declines with each commericial.  Jay-Z has a suit on, Pharrell wears a polo shirt and Shaun White is wearing a t-shirt/buttoned shirt combo.

   

  So, who’s next in this ad campaign?  Mike Tyson wearing a white wifebeater?  Vanilli in a Kenny Loggins World Tour t-shirt!?!

   

  The mind boggles.

  • 1:38 am
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