December 9, 2004
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Ah yes, Xanga has been the source of much information that I’ve missed out on in this generation. The mysteries of “kuya”, “fubu”, american stereotypes and “straight chirp’n” have been (somewhat) solved by the readers of Dramamine Boy’s Xanga. So once again, I call upon the Xanga community to resolve my quandry as we once again delve into another installment of…
Explain It To the Old/Out-of-Touch Guy
However, today’s look at my cluelessness can’t really be chalked up to being out-of-touch. So, today’s episode will instead be called…
Explain It To the Old/Non-Chinese Guy
Okay, since I’ve been working by myself a couple of days a week, I’ve discovered a chinese restaurant right down the street that has relatively cheap food. On my first visit, I tried out their beef chow fun and an order of white rice (because, as you know, chow fun just doesn’t have enough starch).
Good stuff! And they give you so much food, I usually have enough left over for dinner that night. So, I was happy that I found another option for lunch.
A few weeks later, I went there and they were closed a couple of weeks for remodeling. Basically, their remodeling consisted of lots of wood paneling and instead of walking in and going to your right to order your food, you now had to walk in and go to your left… then around a little barrier… then to your right. I’m not sure where wood paneling and creating a maze to get to the waitress fits into this whole feng shui thing, but since I don’t know crap about feng shui, I won’t question it.
I called the restaurant one day, ordered beef chow fun and a side of rice (to make sure that I had my recommended daily allowance of starch for the month), walked down the block to pick up my food, got back to the shop and…
“WHAT THE CRAP IS… hey, that looks pretty good.”
Now, I usually can’t stand it when I get the wrong food. When I’m looking forward to eating the food I ordered and then my hopes are dashed when I open the bag when I get home, I’m pretty irate. But this beef fried rice dish was pretty tasty, so it was no problem. I’m not sure how many strange looks there were at the restaurant when they were putting together an order of fried rice with a side of white rice, but that’s okay. I mixed in the white rice with the fried rice and voila! MORE fried rice!… kinda.
So, a week or so later, a new day dawns (as new days are apt to do) and I decide to get some chinese food again. I order beef chow fun and a side of rice (to officially become the person that has consumed the most starch in their lifetime), since I got cheated out of it on my last visit. This time, I walk down to the restaurant to order my food, take it back to the shop and…
WHAT THE HECK!?! BEEF FRIED RICE AGAIN!?! Now, I’m starting to think that there’s something funny goin’ on. So, in true “Addicted to Xanga” form, instead of walking down to the restaurant to ask, I will instead ask the question to you fine people out there…
Why am I getting beef fried rice when I order beef chow fun? Here are some of my possible explanations:
- The waitress is insane
- They not only remodeled their restaurant, but also their understanding of the english language
- This is their way of revenge for Japan beating China in this year’s Asian Cup
- Gremlins
Does “beef chow fun” sound like “beef fried rice?”. Do the chinese characters for “chow fun” look similar to “fried rice” and the chef or waitress got it mixed up? What sane person would order a side of white rice with fried rice in the first place?
As usual, I await your answers.
Comments (26)
Gremlins.
(and the remodeling released toxic fumes that fried the brain cells of all of the employees.)
At least you weren’t subjected to the guy at our local hang…who, when told of the allergy needs of my husband, forgot…then came screaming out of the kitchen “YOU NO WANT THE PEA!”
snatching the plate from the table.
It was actually pretty cool to witness.
because chow fun is fried rice in cantonese. are you sure it wasn’t hor fun?
don’t quote me on that though. I’m not cantonese and I don’t speak the language. All I can do is order food.
Hi Dram – ”Chow Fun” means “fried rice” in cantonese. Well – it depends on how you pronounced “fun”…. a slightly different inflection = noodles.
– lili
*giggles*
you make me giggle, darren yamashita.
heh.
i can totally imagine the confusion and your reaction. hahaha…
and i can’t help with the whole chowfun mystery, but if you ever want to discuss ‘A-te’ or ‘Ti-ta’, I’m at your service…
hugS.
p.s.: and i love okra.
chow fahn is fried rice. chow fun is fried noodles. although it would be pretty weird for someone to order beef fried rice by saying “beef chow fahn”. because you would just say “beef fried rice.” =)
Those damn gremlins. I can’t speak any chinese, can’t cook, don’t know fung shui, and can’t attest to the sanity of the waitress. I can, however, deffinitly point out that all things that go wrong are caused by gremlims. That, at least, is a scientific fact.
yeah, I don’t care what anyone says about Cantonese.
It’s the Gremlins.
Kill them all.
next time order beef fried rice and maybe they will give you beef chow fun with a side of noodles!!!
it’s gotta be the gremlins. was phoebe and/or zach behind the kitchen door? did gizmo take your order? and aren’t gremlins some kind of exotic pets originated from chinatown?
okay. i’m thinking too much here. =P
fhan and fan (noodles and rice) sound similar. Just say “beef chow fun , wide flat noodles”.
It depends on the way you pronounce “fun”. With an “uh” sound, it should be the noodles, but if you pronounce it with an “ah” sound, you get rice. Most likely they confused the two…or you just aren’t saying it right. XD
i shall not repeat what your subbies already said a) it’s gremlins, specifically stripe and b) intonation can screw it up, so order it and provide a description, ie noodle not rice.
and thanks, i know what i’m going to order for lunch now…chow fun but hold the rice.
In mandarin “chow fAn” means “fried rice” so if the ppl speak mandarin, that’s exactly what ur ordering.
silly dram..u make me laugh
uh, dram! chow fun is fried rice in chinese! haha. good job, soldier!
Dram, here’s a tip… next time order “beef chow haw-fun”… or if you want to be really Chinese, order it by saying “gon chow ngow haw”.
“fun” (rice noodles) is the truncation of “haw-fun” and probably sounds too much like “faahn” (rice)
if you say “haw-fun” there should be no mistaking it for rice.
This is why I always say, “I’ll have the Number 12.”
Hehe, sucker.
Why don’t you check your food before you leave the restaurant?
Have you tried to order in Spanish? I don’t think Juan and Maria, who run the restaurant, speak very good Cantonese or Mandarin.
rice or noodles, they look good nonetheless!
I feel dumb because I don’t know any of this stuff…
And after all these people giving the lessons, I’m still not going to know any of it.
Oh geezus I’m so hungry. Stop posting food pictures!
haha. i dont even noe why fried rice is fried rice. and chow fun is chow fun. why not.. fried noodles or something? cuz fried rice in chinese should like chow fun. lol. very good observation u got there. ^-^
Hmm, I was gonna say that chow fun sounds like fried rice in Chinese, but since somebody already said that … I think you should say “beef chow noodles.”
Y’know, Chinglish. Okay, that didn’t sound as good as Spanglish. Hmmm, how about Cantonglish. Anyway … I’m rambling …
Yeah D. Since you look Chinese, but speak English, the waitor or waitress probably thinks you’re trying to flaunt your Americanized Chinese. Speaking half English (Beef Fried…) and the other half Cantonese (Faan…for rice). Trust me on this, Chinese-American people always come in to my restaurant flaunting their horrible Chinese in front of their non-Chinese speaking friends
You can try this next time. Go in to the restaurant and order Beef Chow Fun. Then clarify yourself by either saying “It’s the flat, white noodles”, or say “Chow haw” (…sounding it out the best I can
)
Gluck D. Next time it happens…you should go postal.
-Mark