November 25, 2003
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It’s like a bad dream (at least for me, anyway) that never seems to go away. Yes, it’s time for the third (and hopefully, final) installment of
Dram’s Parenting Tip #1 – Addendum #2
For those of you familiar with Dramamine Boy’s Xanga (newer visitors should read tip #1 and tip #1a), you current and future parents know that there’s one simple credo to follow:
“The decisions you make for your child today can totally embarass your child tomorrow.”
Hey, I kinda like that slogan, actually. I should have grandma cross-stitch that puppy into a frame or something.
How… inspiring.
Anyway, I’m sure there’s other stuff, like don’t talk to strangers… don’t feed your kid green eggs and ham… don’t let your kid take the NYC subway at 2am all alone with wads of 100 dollar bills in each hand… smack is not only bad for adults, but also for a 2-year old… yeah, yeah, whatever. All swell credos, I’m sure, but I’m talkin’ about the IMPORTANT stuff here!
It’s almost Christmas and now is the time to decide what your kid will be wearing for your Christmas cards and all those present-opening pics on Christmas morn. Cuz as you know, nothing makes a kid happier than opening a Christmas present. Why, here’s an example:
SEE!?! See how ecstatic I am after receiving that super-fabulous… uh, coney-type, thing-a-ma-bobber?
So, not only do you want to capture your happy child with pictures that last forever (for me, this isn’t always a good thing), but you also want to have the proper clothes on your kid to ensure a taunt-free future.
Another trip to the picture album revealed this obvious fashion faux-paux…
Oh what the… WHY DIDN’T I RUN AWAY FROM HOME!?! What kind of frikkin’ hat is that? IS THAT A CHINSTRAP!?! I mean, granted, it’s not a planter… I’d have to say that was the worst one of the bunch. But let’s re-cap here…
- Silly hat.
- Used for cold weather.
- Extra flaps to keep ears warm.
- Chinstrap so hat won’t fly off in extreme winds.
- Worn indoors in a 70-degree room with nary a snowflake within 200 miles of this house.
I mean, the functionality of the hat is thrown right out the window! There’s gotta be another line of reasoning for putting that doggone hat on my head. My best guess is…
“Let’s look for the dumbest hats we can find and put them on our child… he’ll look sooooo cute!”
Well, if cute = retarded, then I’ll have to agree with the parents on that one.
Hit it, Rodney.
Just in time for the holidays!
Remember, if it doesn’t say DramCo… then I don’t get crap in royalties!
So, if you learn nothing else from any other blog here on Dramamine Boy’s Xanga (there’s a lesson in every blog, people… learn it… live it… be it), remember these words to live by:
OH, COME ON GRANDMA! GET A BIGGER CANVAS NEXT TIME!
- Silly hat.
Comments (26)
BUT, if u don’t embarass the kid now, u won’t ever get a chance to do so. What’s the fun in parenting then? haha
“The decisions you make for your child today can totally embarass your child tomorrow.”
I so agree. I had a friend named “Rose Bush” no kidding.
hahahah this was great.
So when does DramCo have its IPO? I wanna get in on this…
Although I do have a theory that your parents didn’t buy you hats, they just grew on your head. They took pictures because they were amazed by the variety.
muhahaa….give me one of every kind of those hats…yippy skippy for embarassing hats
DramCo rocks my socks. i love that. And you know what’s freaky, i love these cut out paper dolls. I am so gonna print that and have my way with your head.
hahahahahh (no, i’m not kidding!)
DUDE! Where can I get some of those hats!!! *rolls on floor laughing* I’ve got the money, have you got the goods? Hook up a sister!
I think I want the retarded one. 
*dies laughing* cut out dram with cut out hat… now there’s a great christmas gift!!
=’.'=
this is hilarious, but it reminds me of the family “hat” that is really an old liner from a real hat, that somehow became a coveted item (with some of the fam, anyway). It looks like one of the helmets used in the old crusade times. I only hope my children never learn the story of that stupid thing.
lolol awwww dont worry dram! ur cute no matter wat
Holy crap, there’s a lotta gifts in that picture….share the wealth, dude!
Just…keep the hat for yourself. 
Oh now you’ve gone and done it…you made me look up “HAT BABY!”, quite possibly the most disturbing flash ever made
Enjoy
omigosh. sooooo funny. those hats looked cute! really! hehe…
i need a hat darling
I guess you didn’t run away from home cuz you wouldn’t wanna be seen out in public with that retarded hat on, would you?
cute hats! you’re going to be a multi-millionaire!
what year was that hat picture taken? that tv looks ancient
awww!! AWWWWW!!! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! How adorable you are!!!! ::squeezes dram::
you’re wonderful
lol, you look pretty psyched to be wearing that hat to me. And what’s that sign you’re making there, the star trek sign? Haha!
just think you can take your revenge when you have kids. Dress them up like freaks just before you drop them off for a day of babysitting by the parents then they’ll have to suffer through the embarrasment of haveing grandkids that look NORMAL!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
aww your sucha loser!!!!!!
how could you score so much higher than me in something fishy?! >_<
i worked so hard for my 7400…. which will probably not stay up on the list until the end of the day. but STILL! i made it up there.. only to see stupid dramamineboy in second place! oea8ruasodjsdfnsdf
anyways. i think that flappy hat is purty! ask ur mom where she got it so i can get one for my future son.
DRAMMMMM!!
Yey for stupid hats. I only had one hat… and uh, I guess I looked cute in it? Let’s just say that now all I wear are beanies. Cuz yeah, IT GET’S COLD DOWN BY THE FRIKKIN BEACH!
queL
Ha, ha! You had me in cross-stitches.
embarrassing hats huh? don’t think i have any of those pictures. but i think i have lots of those embarrassing naked baby pictures and those baby in underwear/diaper pictures. what’s up with that?!! the parents’ too lazy to change the kid now?!!
blondless - Parenting is supposed to be fun!?!
silvermyst_ashke - We had a customer that was named Teddy Baer… no foolin’.
dlordcletus - Ooooooo, IPO… I could use some capital.
CrazyGB - You can keep the hats!
sydney_chickie - Hehehe… supposedly, some people didn’t realize they were paper doll things… I guess that’s another one of those old school things.
KittyKat7 - I am SO gonna have to put some of this stuff out for sale!
Firey17 - Fun for the whole family!
Nara1116 - Oh my, and here I woulda thought the hat you spoke of is the one in your profile pic!
Bloodberry - Yay cute!
CindyWang - Ahhh, the memories… at the height of the Christmas family glory, there were like twice as many presents as that.
neko_nog - I can’t get that flash to work! Hellllllp!
shamrocks - Hehehe… I dunno, “cute” is the last thing I would call that planter hat.
petitekiu - Well, you have some doozies to pick from!
cowboybone - Hahahaha… good point!
cherwhoah - Let’s just say that 1970 hadn’t occurred yet.
lilchinadoll341 - Woohoo, just like Snuggles the bear!
freeasabird - Yay wonderful!
Lilyny - Cuz I’m too young to know any better!
astrohooker - Well, if my kids ever get a hold of my Xanga, I’ll be in big trouble!
silverain - Hahaha… you saw my score up there? Darn that addicting game!
queLness - Well, that’s cuz you go to the beach at 5 in the doggone morning! =P
arnie_flangehead - Hahahaha… good one.
maryCherry22 - Oh, I have some of those, but I choose not to share. =P
My goodness… what a scarred childhood you led. Perpetual hat hair… Eh well. Beats Al Sharpton hair.
Interesting site! Random props! Hit me back nugget!