February 27, 2004
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Alright… since I haven’t blogged about the staff here at Dramamine Boy’s Xanga in awhile, I’m sure there’ll be a few out there that will be confused after reading this blog (well, everyone will be confused, just some more than others). So, if you’re relatively new here, you might want to click on a few of those links below if you have no idea what I’m talkin’ about.
Okay, on with the blog!
It’s that time of the year for everyone to give out awards… the Golden Globes, the Grammys, etc. and Dramamine Boy’s Xanga is no different! As part of the strike agreement with C.H.I.L.D., Dramamine Boy’s Xanga now presents the first annual Dramamine Boy’s Xanga Awards Show, better known as the Drammys!
It’s thrilling! It’s exciting! It’s a whole heck of a lot of money I’m forced to spend on these frikkin’ employees instead of DirecTV for myself!
Yes, that’s right, we have gathered the finest celebrities of music, stage and screen… that our twelve dollar and fifty-seven cent budget could get us. So, without futher delay, presenting our first award are two icons from the music industry, one of the Yatta! guys and one of the dudes from Right Said Fred!
Right Said Fred Dude: Well Yatta guy, we’re here to give away the award for the most valuable Dramamine Boy’s Xanga employee. I must say, I dunno why we’re here… we’re obviously too sexy for this show.
Yatta! Guy: …
Right Said Fred Dude: psst… your line. Read the cue card.
Yatta! Guy: Sorry… no english.
Right Said Fred Dude: Bloody hell… I’ll do it myself then, ya foreigner. Nice leaf, by the way. The Drammy goes to… Kimberly!
Kimberly is in charge of organizing a lot of the final content you see here on Dramamine Boy’s Xanga. Unfortunately, she couldn’t be here tonight, since she’s putting this blog together as we speak.
To present the next Drammy, here’s Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez!
Ben: “What the… who’s stupid idea was it to pair us together!?!”
JLo: “It certainly wasn’t mine!”
Ben: “Now see, what’s that supposed to mean?”
JLo: “It means that you better step off before I take this shoe and shove it right up yo-”
Whoa… good thing I installed that five second delay on my blog transmissions after witnessing that Super Bowl fiasco. I guess I’ll have to do this award myself, which is fine, since it’s my favorite one.
The winner of Dramamine Boy’s Xanga’s most useless employee is…
Skippy! Skippy isn’t his real name, it’s some really long name I can’t pronounce. Skippy was put in charge of spell checking Dramamine Boy’s Xanga blogs and as you can tell by his sign he made during the strike, he wasn’t spell checker for long. So, we just keep him around doing menial tasks, cuz you know… I’m a nice guy.
Anyway, he got the name Skippy after he missed a few grammatical errors in a Dramamine Boy’s Xanga blog, making me look like a dolt. So, we took him bowling and I dropped a bowling ball on his foot.
Skippy is also a New York Yankee fan and hates the 80′s.
Nobody around here really likes Skippy very much.
To present the award for most popular employee, here’s the kid from The Courtship of Eddie’s Father and some guy we pulled off the street cuz we ran out of money for presenters.
Eddie: Well, it certainly is-
Some guy off the street: YEEEEEAAAAAAAH! I can’t believe this! Just a few minutes ago, I was walkin’ around outside and the next thing ya know, I’m on TV with Opie!
Eddie: This isn’t TV, it’s the internet. AND I’M NOT OPIE!
Some guy off the street: The internet? SAAA-WEET! The internet RULES, Opie!
Eddie: sigh… whatever. Anyway, the most popular Dramamine Boy’s Xanga employee award go-
Some guy off the street: GOES TO CHUCKIE! I GOT TO SAY IT BEFORE YOU DID, OPIE! YES! I AM SOOOO STOKED!
… hey, who’s Chuckie? Isn’t he that doll that has cool clothes and that sweet ride and hangs around Barbie?
Eddie: That’s Ken, you moron. Chuckie couldn’t be here tonight, due to a prior, uh… detainment. But we have a taped message from him…
“Chuckie want to thank Mr. Cowbaybon for making Chuckie famous and number one worker! Chuckie like Mr. Cowbaybon very much, even tho’ he no give Chuckie tip after Chuckie drive him everywhere!”
Well, that does it for the awards. And now, tonight’s musical entertainment… a tribute to Milli Vanilli as performed by… Vanilla Ice!
Girl you know it’s true… ooooo, ooooo…
Yo, where’d everyone go?
Hello?
Anyone?
VIP?
Comments (16)
DUUUuuuuuude, skippy didn’t misspell. It’s the damn Yanks that misspell
LaboUr, coloUr, favoUr, …. metRe, theatRe…. hehehe this is Ennnnnglish.
*applause*
*loud cheering* and *crazy clapping* woohooo
damn i’m amazed dude. you put milli vanilli, vanilla ice AND Right Said Fred all in one entry. you’re a god *snorts*
have a great weekend!
yea!! let’s here it for kimberly and chuckie!!
hahahahaha funny stuff. i was wondering when you were going to update next
haha, very nice post…you damn child laborererer….
and though i find you funny… as always… i still in the back of my mind think “where the hell did he find all of those child labor pics? did he actually search googles for pictures under: “poor child being forced to work under cruel conditions in 3rd world country” just to use them for a slightly funny blog?
brilliant or sick… ? you decide!
I knew that Chuckie had potential. You just had to beat it outta him, that’s all.
awesome. hehe
the manipulation of a couple of those pics leaves me a little queasy…but thank god irreverence is a convenient pill to take.
your version is MUCH MORE entertaining then the real version I’m afraid ::grinning::
If those child labourers (correct spelling) don’t like it, why don’t they go on the dole like everyone else?
rofl hahah i wanna b in the Drammys! hahaha i love vanilla ice….wurd to ya motha….
~jude
Dude, you’re site is so awesome. I LOVE reading your posts. Such originality. Awesome!
~Shan
lol no, YOU hafta provide the sour brite crawlers…so will you rent me or wat? XD
~jude
linearpanda - Oh sure, maybe in some parts of the world these words are spelled that way… but this is America where we make up our own spelling!
eFairy, CrazyGB - Thanks!
AshBurn - Woohoo! God status!
maryCherry22 - They also get preferred parking… too bad they don’t drive.
lnkngurl808 - Yeah, it’s been a busy time lately, so looks like about once a week for awhile.
COMS_K - I prefer the term “providing work experience to those overly-eager to join the work force”.
MourningJoy - Usually, “child labor” does the trick. I’d vote for “brilliant”, but I think the odds are in favor of “sick”.
cowboybone - Hahahaha… there’s no beatings at Dramamine Boy’s Xanga Headquarters, only “attitude adjustments”.
allan_m_houston - I think a little dramamine would help that queasy feeling!
Ellehia_Meltintalle - Well, that’s cuz the real version is lame!
Hunk_Golden - I suppose they could do that… if it wasn’t for that “sold into slavery” clause in their contracts.
Bloodberry - I dunno… them brite crawlers are expensive! How many of those things are you gonna eat a day?
Shan4Christ - Thanks!