December 14, 2004
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The Twelve Days of Dram! – Day 2
Okay, you know how I talked about being upset when I get the wrong food? Well…
The other day, I decided to drive over to Taco Bell for some food. More specifically, a couple of their spicy chicken burritos.
Now, when they first introduced the spicy chicken burrito last year, I felt that I had discovered my favorite Taco Bell food ever. It was spicy… it was chickeny… and most important of all, it had no beans. I don’t like refried beans, much less the refried bean paste that’s spread on Taco Bell products. So, imagine my horror when I went to Taco Bell one day and discovered that they discontinued the spicy chicken burrito. It went something like this…
“NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo…”
First the gordita and now this! So, when I heard that they brought back the spicy chicken burrito a couple of months ago, I felt it was my duty to buy as many spicy chicken burritos as humanly possible to ensure that they’ll stay around forever.*
*Total number of spicy chicken burritos bought in the last couple of months… about 8. I’m not sure I’m doing everything humanly possible.
I drive up to the talking menu and…
Taco Bell Moron: <—-foreshadowing! “Welcome to Taco Bell, may I take your order?”
Okay, first, I’d like to add a little note about Taco Bell. You know that commercial where the guy walks into Taco Bell with his girlfriend/wife and makes sure that they don’t make the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl until he orders it? Then, he says,
“I’d like a Zesty Chicken Border Bo-”
“A Zesty Chickennnnnn…”
“A Zesty Chick-!”
and the guy behind the counter keeps having to stop in his tracks until the guy actually finishes ordering the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl? Well, my advice is, don’t do this in real life. I’d have to say that doing this will greatly increase the possibility that some teenage Taco Bell employee will spit in your Zesty Chicken Border Bowl.
Okay, back to my ordeal…
Me: “I’d like two spicy chicken burritos, an order of nachos and a medium Coke.”
TBM: *long pause* “That’s… two spicy bean burritos?”
Me: “No, that’s two SPICY. CHICKEN. BURRITOS.”
TBM: *pause* “And you said something about a drink?”
Me: “A medium Coke.” *thinking that this guy is pretty dense, so…* “And an order of nachos!”
TBM: “Your total is $5.80, please drive up to the window.”
I drive up, I pay, he gives me my food and walks away. I check my bag and there’s no nachos. I look for the receipt and it’s not in the bag. Now, anyone that’s been to a Taco Bell drive-thru knows that they have this thick acrylic box-thing to pass the money and food between cashier and customer. It looks like something that was part of Superman’s Fortress of Solitude at the North Pole.
HELLO!?! Do you still have chalupas!?!
So, it’s a little difficult to converse with the cashier. I wave at the cashier and he comes back to the acrylic box-thing…
Me: “I ordered nachos, right?”
TBM: *looks at his copy of my receipt* “No.”
Me: “Then why is my bill so high?”
TBM: *looks at receipt again* “There’s sales tax.”
Me Thinking: Dude, how much of a moron are you to think that sales tax is $1.67? 40 PERCENT SALES TAX!?!
Me: “It’s $1.39 for chicken burritos, right?”
TBM: “Yes.”
Me: “So, that’s what, almost $2.80 for the two burritos.”
TBM: *nods*
Me: “And how much is a Coke?”
TBM: *gets receipt and passes it to me*
Me: *points to B-BFSP* “What is this?”
TBM: “We don’t have spicy chicken burritos, so we gave you two chicken burrito supremes and gave you the red sauce instead of the green sauce to make it spicy.”
Me: “So these are chicken burrito supremes with spicy sauce?”
TBM: *nods*
Me: *drives away disgruntled*
I get home, take a bite of my burrito and… it’s a bean-beef burrito supreme with spicy sauce. I believe I have previously mentioned that I HATE BEAN PASTE!
My two burritos then went directly into the trash.
So basically, the bozo messed up my order, over-charged me, then lied to me about the sales tax thing, lied to me about being out of spicy chicken burritos (my personal opinion) and lied to me about what he put in my bag. I was pissed off! So, for the first time ever, I filed a complaint. That’s right, I was that mad!
I logged onto the Taco Bell website and I filled out a complaint form. Yessireebob, that’ll teach that guy a lesson he’ll never forget! I’m sure a reprimand-type e-mail from Taco Bell HQ is speeding its way to him right now. Or even better, maybe they’ll send that “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” dog to pee on him. Vengeance is mine!
Then, I got in my car and drove to another Taco Bell (yes, there are two Taco Bells within three miles of each other) and bought two spicy chicken burritos and an order of nachos, because as you know, I’m…
obsessive
determined
pig-headed
stubborn
Comments (19)
I feel your pain!! I absolutely HATE the Taco Bell drive-thru! I’ve gotten so many orders screwed up. I love your list at the end because those all describe me when I go to a second Taco Bell just to get the right order lol. Or when I take my food back and act like a crazy person, slamming it down on the counter and demanding a remake. I am all of those adjectives you’ve crossed out, plus the one that’s not
And complaining is always the best – you may get coupons or something in the mail!
BTW — the commercial you describe? It bugs me! Why? Because ANYTHING you order at Taco Bell is made while you wait, unless you’re at one of those express stores where you grab and go!!! I just find that commercial so darn annoying.
LOL. very dramatic.
Taco Hell! I havegiven up on the drive thru unless I am ordering 6 regular tacos and a small pepsi. Even that confuses them at times. Sometimes I get all nice and Gandi like, they are only kids earning minimum wage, but by the time I have pulled away I want to pull the gaped mouth pimpled punk through the acrylic box.
Stupid Taco Bell people. Make sure you keep us updated as to the results of your complaint-filing…because I have yet to see one filed complaint that actually did anything.
Also…I’m still cracking up from the first installment of the 12 Days of Dram. Thanks so much for that…it’s nice to be able to laugh in the morning.
Peace.
hahahahaha awwwww, sounds like the suck. I feel your pain Dram. I surely do!
I was equally dismayed when Wendy’s discontinued their Chef salad, Calvin Klein discontinued my favourite underwear and my favourite lip balm went bankrupt. Life is never the same again. There are no substitutes!
I absolutely love Taco Bell. It’s the only fast food I’ll eat. Their Chicken Quesadillas (sp?) are great! It’s my new regular. About the bean paste, I know what you mean. GROSSSSSS. Most Taco Bell workers ARE morons. Though, I’ve met one cool one. Peter. Long live the Peters of Taco Bell.
Jill.
taco bell? really?
I also hate the bean paste. . .
And yeah. . . They always fuck up my Zesty Chicken Border Bowl order.
Taco Bell licks my ass
Dram, my son. You are simply enjoying food from the wrong Taco Bell. Taco Bell is akin to Heaven. You need to journey to my neck of the woods. I don’t know about the Spicy Chicken Bean Burrito, but I’m pretty sure they still have gorditas.
1-800-TACO BELL is awesome. I called, complained, and actually noticed a change in service at the location I complained about. Plus, they sent me a coupon for a free item. And me? If it was me, i would have gone right back, demanded the correct order, and my money back for the hassle. And I would have got it, because I’m Italian….or something.
i don’t really like going to taco bell ever since i got a pervy email forward with the chihuahua doing nasty things to a taco bell bag.
that being said, you stick it to that taco bell and get that punk ass fired.
so i guess i won’t be hearing “yo quiero taco bell” from you.
omg! you should’ve heard me and TJ this past weekend about beans.
i once called a fat woman “chalupa”. so yeah, i’m not a fan of taco bell anymore. NO MAS, PAPI. NO MAS!!
Lucky that you have more than one Taco Bell. I have been calling Taco Bell “Taco Hell” lately. They ALWAYS mess up my orders. I ALWAYS get ripped off somehow. grrr!
Anyway, hope things are going well
nyahahahahahahah
damn taco bell moron!!!!
don’t you just wanna hit him upside the head, and yell, ‘MORON!!’
no?
hugS>
ilovebakedgoods - Yeah, that’s right! It’s not really false advertising, but… IT’S SOMETHING!
kristinelovesrain - I put the “drama” in “Dramamine”!
Iagos_envy - I can kinda see why these fast food joints put meals together by numbers. That way, dumb employees can just press “3″ when someone orders a #3.
scrawling_my_name - Yep, the conclusion to my complaint gives me a subject for a future Dramamine Boy’s Xanga blog!
emmses - And the McRib sandwich!! And the McD.L.T.! Sure, the hot side is always hot, but my cool side is never cool anymore!
Oh wait… nobody misses these things.
Rocknroll_aint_noise_pollution - Hahahaha… from now on, when I drive up to Taco Bell’s drive-thru, I’ll say “Is Peter there?” and if they say “There’s no Peter working here”, I’ll just drive away.
blacksesame - Si!
ashliepierce - I’ve had the Southwest Chicken Bowl, but haven’t tried the Zesty one yet. I’m kinda scared about what they do to it that makes it “zesty”.
ScottyLove - Hahahaha… well, I will rarely go back to complain, cuz I suck at arguments… and I’m too lazy to get back in the car.
tjthunderball - Yikes, scarred for life!
petitekiu - Hey, wasn’t that chalupa story in one of your blogs?
SuuGaPuFF - The main problem I’ve had with Taco Bell has been the people that take your order. They always seem to have some sort of an accent at the ones I go to and I don’t know what the heck they’re saying! They’ll repeat my order and I’ll just sit there stunned and say “…yeah”. Then, I’ll get home and find out I got a bag full of nacho cheese sauce and a coke.
silvermyst_ashke -
sydney_chickie - Well, the image of me hitting him with those beef bean burritos did enter my mind that night.
i L.O.V.E. the foreshadowing!! haha.. way to keep up the quality with the quantity
Reason #738 why I REFUSE, REFUSE to eat at most fast food chains, a.k.a McDonalds, Wendy’s, Booger King, Toxic Hell, and the like. They make crappy food and charge you more money than it’s worth spit in it and the lie to you.
I’m sorry you had a bad experience. If you ever eat at my restaurant I swear that won’t happen to you.
I like this blog! Too hilarious~ But Dram 2 burrito, a nacho and coke in one seating? Mannnnn I didn’t know ur that grown up already.
HAHA!! there’s no shame in filing complaints! i filed one against the Ralph Lauren store at the mall. The manager there was an ass. Corporate said they’d, “look into the issue.” I like Taco Bell’s 7-layer burrito. That might have beans in it tho..