October 5, 2004
-
Athens Olympics: Day 51
Yes, it’s officially the longest Olympics in the history of the modern Olympics! Today’s Olympic highlights include more extensive drug testing being completed and Greek officials renting out the Olympic Stadium to Emma Anastasiou’s Sweet Sixteen party to help pay for all the unpaid Olympic bills.
It beats the heck out of me why NBC refuses to cover these events.
So sure, there’s no more Olympics on TV, but you’ve come to the right place, fellow Olympic fans! Granted, it’s been awhile since the last Olympic update, but for good reason! Dramamine Boy’s Xanga – The Official Xanga Blog of the Athens Olympics* has been hard at work generating this blog! To show how dedicated this site is to the Olympic spirit, Dramamine Boy’s Xanga – The Official Xanga Blog of the Athens Olympics* is proud to present…
Dram’s Top 500 Thoughts About The Olympics!
500. Equestrian - Okay, why do these morons get medals? The horses do all the work! These guys get medals and glory that will last forever and the horses don’t get crap! Why not give the horses something they could enjoy? I say, instead of giving a bronze medal to the rider, the horse should get some horsey-treats or something. Second place gets a couple of bags of oats and a massage. And the winning horse gets to trample the rider or whoever was responsible for shipping the poor horse all the way to Greece just to jump over some frikkin’ obstacles!
499. The 20km Walk - What kind of a “sport” is this? Twenty kilometers of walking!?! I watched this event live… that sure was 90 minutes of riveting television, I tell ya. These guys all look like they’re rushing through a mall looking for a bathroom. As one participant moved into first place, the TV announcer said, “And he blows past the leader!”. Dude, it’s walking! Nobody “blows past” anything! And what’s up with their bodies? They all have these huge legs and the rest of their body weighs like 9 pounds. There’s an anorexic joke in there somewhere… I just know it.
498. Yao Ming Spits On Interviewer - Did anyone else see this!?! It was one of the best things EVER! Yao pretty much spit right on-
*knock knock*
What the… uhhhh… come in?
Okay, that’s enough!
Um, who the heck are you?
I’m a representative from the ATB, the Agency for Timely Blogs. We’re pulling the plug on this blog.
Pulling the plug!?! What for?
The subject matter of this blog is horribly out-dated. The ATB monitors blogs around the world and eliminates those that try to talk about things that are deemed irrelevant. The Olympics are no longer in the public eye and blogging about it will only make people roll their eyes and leave.
But… but… there’s gotta be SOMEONE out there that wants to hear my thoughts about how silly of a sport Team Handball is!
No, there’s not.
But it looks like a school recess game gone horribly wrong! I just know this ”sport” was invented by some 5th grade teacher in Lincoln, Nebraska! And they turned it into a worldwide Olympic event! Don’tcha see? People like to hear about stuff like that!
Maybe a month ago they did, but now, they’ve totally forgotten what Team Handball looks like. And it’s not like they’re able to turn on their TV to find out.
Sigh… whatever, man. So what, is that the only thing I can’t make fun of?
Oh heavens no. There’s a multitude of subjects that are currently out-of-fashion.
Like what?
Like Gervaise from the first Survivor. The Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. Pogs. I could go on and on.
Oh, I get it. So, stuff like Gigli and Michael Jackson, too?
Actually, just when it’s time for him to be an out-of-date subject, Mr. Jackson does something new which opens him up to an entirely new set of jokes. He’s pretty much entered “perpetual ridicule” territory.
Wait a minute… why didn’t you guys show up for all my other ancient-subject blogs, like my Shazam/Isis blog?
Because there’s a time limit on these out-of-date subjects. After a certain amount of time, subjects become part of nostalgia and you can once again blog about them.
So wait… does that mean I can blog about the Athens Olympics again someday?
Yep.
Sweet!! When?
February 17, 2012.
2012!?!
Look pal, the Olympics ended over a month ago. Nobody cares! Get over it and move on!
But that’s why I’m here! To spread that feel-good vibe that each person gets about their country during the Olympics! Shouldn’t everyone feel that way all the time? I feel like it’s my duty to keep that spirit alive! After all, this is The Official Xanga Blog of the Athens Olympics!*
Oh yeah, about that “official” thing.
What about it?
There’s a Cease and Desist order coming your way.
Man, this sucks. Everyone here at Dramamine Boy’s Xanga put a lot of time on this Top 500 list. Heck, there was a lot of work done just on that banner up at the top there. Can I at least kee-
No.
Doggone it.
So, I guess that’s the end of the Olympic blogs here at Dramamine Boy’s Xanga… until 2008!! Cuz that’s when Dramamine Boy’s Xanga will be the Official Xanga Blog of the Beijing Oly-
Think again, pal.
Comments (20)
*snort* bwahahahhaha
I never got the chance to see Yao spit on any interviewer. There has to be a video clip of it online somewhere. Wouldn’t he just spit over the interviewer’s head though?
Haha. The horses don’t get medals because they can’t raise it up with their… hands? Whatever they are. And bite it.
You’re still allowed to blog about Michael Phelps, he’s exceptional. Yep.
haha you got told. Serves you right! Talking about the Olympics still! Yeesh!
Hey, at least you have the Winter Olympics to look forward to in … how many years?
Screw that guy and keep the banner up. That looks like it was hard. To do.
You had 497 other things? bwawawa!
do these people have “out of date blogging” detectors? can i get one?
i’m sure you can save his spittle and sell it on ebay.
I was totally gearing up, dude. I wasn’t sure if I could sit through 500 I was prepared to try. What a disappointment. But still, it was worth it to hear you rant about the walking race. That is unbelievably stupid and the picture that goes along with it is perfection.
*amused*
*gasp*….YOU UPDATED!!! *fireworks go off*
You know what? You should blog about the upcoming election. Then you’ll have at least 4 bozos to ridicule, and it’s still up to date! And dammit, people need to vote!!
it’s a little random, but they don’t always put down the asians? http://msn.foxsports.com/pgStory?contentId=3059326&imageNumber=13
I miss the olympics ever so much. Sob.
Aww, Dram… you crack me up!
that compeditive walking picture. It…
MADE
MY
DAY!!!!
Man I was all excited to read the rest of your list… oh well.
PS I had a horse fall on me when I was 11 while doing the equestrian gig. Let me tell you that’s not fun when a 2,000 pound horse loses it’s footing and falls of like a ton of… well horse flesh on your leg. All I got was bruises and the horse was just mad she didn’t get hurt. and don’t worry no animals were injured or killed in the writing of this comment. Except maybe the cat when I stepped on his tail but that was SO NOT MY FAULT.
AshBurn -
AssAssAssain29 - I actually had it on tape, but I think I taped over it when I taped Inside the Actors Studio with the voices of The Simpsons.
D’oh.
insertusername - That’s why you give ‘em stuff they can enjoy instead of medals! Like a new horse blanket! Extra hay! A little horsey “companionship”, if ya know what I mean!
emmses - But they can’t extinguish the Olympic flame I have in my soul!
Lizka - Less than two years! Oh boy! I’ll have to mark that on my calendar.
grisaleen - Yeah, give or take, like… 495 or so.
irresistiblePOiSON - Apparently so, but they’re like secret spy stuff… you gotta have a license to operate one of them things.
tjthunderball - No, Yao brushed the spit off of the guy’s jacket… probably so the interviewer couldn’t save it and sell it.
glorycato - Hehehe… yeah, you mighta had to take a lunch break or something to get through all 500!
silvermyst_ashke -
CindyWang - That would require me to sit through endless programs of Bush talking… I dunno if I can handle that.
boomchickaboom - Woohoo! Score one for the asians!!
sarahbohbarah - I know… I knew I shoulda taped all those events to watch again.
indieblogger - Hehehe… thanks!
SaltedLemons - Hahahaha… yeah, I found very few pics of the walking competition, but that one was perfect!
astrohooker - Yikes… I almost fell off a horse once when it started trotting. I kept the horse to a walk from that point onward.
Where oh where did my little Dram go? I am, sadly to say, horribly addicted to your posts. And you left me fiending there for a long time. I think I am going to have to call the cops in on this one. Great post though.
dieselboy_1206 - Hmmm… sounds like I’m gonna have to form a Dramamine Boy’s Xanga Anonymous organization for the next time I’m gone for awhile.
hehehe… so witty *silence* keep up the good work *silence*