December 15, 2003
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update already!!! 
Posted 12/14/2003 at 7:24 PM by sydney_chickie
OKAY, OKAY! Never say that Dramamine Boy’s Xanga doesn’t listen to the readers!
Went out to see Matrix: Revolutions recently… by myself (doggone friends flaked, so fine… I’ll see it alone). I don’t want to give any surprises away, but MAN, I was shocked when I found out Neo’s father was Darth Vader. I sure didn’t see that one comin’!
It seems like The Matrix trilogy is the Star Wars of this generation. Well, I guess you could say that Star Wars Episode I-III is the Star Wars of this generation… but that trilogy sucks, so The Matrix it is.
I’m just glad that the George Lucas group didn’t get a hold of the Matrix screenplay. While I’m sure the special effects would’ve been just as cool, the movies just wouldn’t have been the same. They would’ve been destroyed by Lucas’ pandering to the kid market. Instead of all the death and destruction in Revolutions, by the third movie, Lucas probably woulda had Neo getting saved by a bunch of Ewoks and given the role of Morpheus to frikkin’ Jar Jar Binks.
Heesa da one!
Actually, that would’ve been pretty cool, cuz then I’d get to watch an Agent beat the crap out of Jar Jar.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Star Wars. I watched the first movie like seven times in the theater. I stood in line for over 3 hours to watch Return of the Jedi. I’ll watch any of the three original movies whenever they’re on TV (Episode I and II on the other hand… those movies bug me). I just have a problem with how much they toned down the coolness factor of the story by Return of the Jedi, which carried over into Episodes I and II.
For example, Han Solo went from this cool mercenary guy in the first movie to some love-sick bozo by Return of the Jedi. And they didn’t even stop there… they had to go back and re-do the first movie to make him less cool. When they came out with Star Wars: Special Edition, they changed the cantina scene to have Greedo shoot at Han first (as if it were self-defense or something), instead of Han just blasting him like the heartless guy that he
iswas. You might as well CGI a frikkin’ dress on him, for cryin’ out loud!
This really brings out the hazel in my eyes
By the third movie, they shoulda had Luke lopping off the head of the Emperor, pieces of Ewoks splattered across the screen and a gratuitous love scene thrown in there somewhere. Instead, we get an emasculated Han Solo, three-foot teddy bears defeating a garrison of elite stormtroopers and the most vicious villan in the universe goes to heaven!?!
So, what would’ve happened if Lucas got a hold of The Matrix? They’d probably have Jar-Jar Morpheus fighting Neo in the dojo training program and then he’d suddenly rip his pants or something. We wouldn’t have a Neo/Trinity love scene (although there’s nothing wrong with that… Keanu’s butt… *shivers*). Not to mention having Oracle lunch boxes and Tickle Me Morpheus dolls littering the aisles at Toys R Us.
Ha. Ha. That. Tickles.
THANK YOU FOR SAVING US FROM THIS, WACHOWSKI BROTHERS!
Song of the Blog
Comments (45)
ahahahhahahhaha…..
man… so funny.
laughter is great at 5:30 in the morning. hehe….
This is awesome! haha Darn~ I couldn’t sleep. haha laughing with ur entry not helping either. argh
Anyway, ur Trinity is so much hotter. *drool*
I hate Jar Jar!!! Whoever thought up that jem needs to be fired. AHH Han Solo in a dress!
Too good, too good.
wow, i’ve always wondered what the thought process and production behind drams blog was like…and now the secret revealed! its like raiders of the lost ark…except without all the ghosts and melting of the skin and stuff.
I once read an article that explained why the star wars movies are the way they are. I guess Lucas only wrote and directed Episode 4 and 6. Episode 5, which most fans consider to be the best, was written(the screenplay anyway) by other people and directed by someone else. Though I am not a true superfan like some of my friends and don’t know all that much about it. yeah, anyway….The Enterprise could kick all their butts anyway!!!!
Hahaha…you crack me up…i Love the picture on your headline…beautiful hat
I just about fell out of my chair from laughing at these photos!! You’re a friggen genius…I bow to you Master Dram!
*laughs until she rips her spleen*
Oh, I think I peed a little, cuz I’m laughin’ so hard…this is pure comedy gold.
I left the Matrix:Revolutions theater feeling like I’d just seen The Empire Strikes Back…all depressed and sad for my heros and heroine. I kinda thought ‘goofy big-bullet reloader guy’ was about as close to Jar Jar as they could get…
Tickle Me Morpheous…damn that’s funny!
Man I thought the Matrix was such an awesome movie.
GAHAHAHAHHAHA! *snorts* excuse the expletive, but that was effing hilarious! so this is what i get by simply asking, huh?! i like!
*runs to change her underpants*
(what’s wrong with keanu’s butt?)
haven’t seen any of the matrix movies. yes. pop-culture sin i know, so i’d probably rate lord of the rings above it, considering i never watched it.
hahaha omg that’s great
I still have yet to see those star wars new ones…I keep falling asleep dammit *sigh*
I didn’t like the third matrix whatsoever…there’s only so many times you can watch Trinity do her suspended-in-the-air kick that is now in EVERY FREAKING MOVIE FROM HOLLYWOOD…*hyperventilates from rage*
Ok…anywho, awesome pics!
i dont watch star wars…im a chick flick girl…well i watched all the matrix-es tho… i dont get it…the blog…lol
::cracks up::
You never cease to amuse me, Dram. ^_^
Man…you are either heavily disturbed or very creative.
After seeing those photoshoped pics……I am in awe of the depth of your mental distur….I mean creativity.
my god! that’s some scary ass shit!!
thank god it didn’t turn out to be a george lucas film…otherwise i think i would just…uummm…have to make my own film
yes…i will make my own version…and call it the ANImatrix *that was my idea too* =P
Haha, that was just way too funny! You’ve brightened my day knowing there are things I didn’t even realize i should be grateful for!
Judes replaced you again!!! With a real boyfriend!! HA! I win the proverbial thumb wrestling war!!
~Dram’s wife, Patricia
lolol im so sorry dram…i…i didnt mean it…
one thing led to another and umm….
i’m sorry!!!! sigh…i hope, maybe possibly…we could still be friends…sigh
gah! patricia you may be the NEW wife, but i had him first! AHA! n we go waaaaay bak! bak to the ancient times of cs 1.5!!! pffft u cant take away our great times!
~dram’s ex judes
Bah hahaha! Victory! LOL
gah shaddap tricie…i’m kind of emotional right now…
just..leave me alone for awhile. im ganna crawl to my corner and cry as i think about all the good times dram and me shared…
its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all…
saw your site through sydney_chickie… damn ur good with computer graphics — impressive
ever think about advertising?
Although I totally agree about episodes 1 & 2 sucking. The original star wars…. I will always think them to be some of the most amazing movies ever.
Just to lay myself out for some spanking, I’ll share a little bit of Starwars Geeky-know-one-cares (like that word play don’t you!) The ewoks were suppose to be Wookies, but they couldn’t make the costumes because the actors would over heat and DIE. So they made ewoks. Bunch of pansy ass midgets
You forgot to mention that Mark Hamill and Keanu Reeves are both great at making dumb and confused faces.
update again~!! hahaha~ entertain me EVERYDAY~!! make ur staff writer faster~!! PUNISH THEM~!!!
I think the bloodberry/lilchinadoll thumb wrestling match of love deserves a blog next. We need more drama up in here in this joint!
just in case you haven’t seen my ode to you: http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=sydney_chickie&tab=weblogs&uid=49997658
hahahaha oh gosh! That Jar Jar Binks part cracked me up, yo….
dram! i jus broke up with my boyfriend cuz i realized how much i miss you! no one can ever take your place!!!! I WANT YOU BACK!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
come on…u missed me, too, rite?
u know deep down that i’m totalllly better than tricia 
~judes “i love you dram” bloodberry<3 <3
Back Off Judes! Dram is MINE! Dram, don’t listen to her!! She’s replaced you, not once, but twice and forgot to mention that you were her husband on her xanga!! And each time the boyfriends were gone…she came back to you! That’s not cool!! You’re not her…rebound dude!! You deserve better than that!
~Patricia “I
Dram More” lilchinadoll341 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Yeah, 10 bucks for popcorn. Don’t worry, i have a coupon!
pffft don listen to patricia!!! i KNOW we had sumthing special. i felt a spark! u know u felt it too! u cant just forget about all the great times we had!!! ur not a “rebound” dude…ur the ONLY dude! i swear!
…u know…fine..if u like that crazy bum tricie more, and if she makes u happy, then fine. i understand. as long as ur happy dram…watever YOU want…sigh, but you’ll always be in my heart *runs away crying*
~judes “i still love you and forever will, whether u like me back or not” bloodberry <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
ahahahhahahahaha doopid Darren…shit, call me up, i’ll go watch a movie w/ you…it has to be the latest showing…in Mercado though…
Whatever Judes! JB totally wants you back!! And I wasn’t the one having the affairs. Nyeh!
Don’t listen to her Dram!!! What we have is more special than what you had (keyword, HAD) with her!
“i felt a spark!”
Pfft! When I think about Dram, I feel FIREWORKS! And I mean big-time, serious, Macy’s sort of FIREWORKS!
~Patricia “Dram’s TWU WUV”
Dram, you’re the hottest man
All across the land.
We go waaay back to the days of COMS clan.
Remember when, I held your hand?
I melted inside, cuz I’m your biggest fan.
Im in love with you, more than
That tricie girl can understand.
It was meant to be the moment it began.
“Love ignited by gunfire”
theres nothing hotter
~judes, your unrequited lover
I don’t think your boyfriend, JB, is going to like that you write poems proclaiming your love to your EX-BOYFRIEND! You see how she treats you Dram?! I would NEVER do that to you. NEVER!
~Patricia aka She-who-is-not-Dram’s-unrequited-lover.
aaaahhhhh thankfully I can say I’ve NEVER seen any of the Matrix movies. WHOOOO HOOO!
We’ll see how long that lasts.
i know I know I’m a TERRIBLE geek but somethings gota give. Right?
GRRRRRRRRR just back off tricie!!! i totally knew dram BEFORE you! and i was the one who SHOWED you his xanga!!! so if it wasnt for ME, you guys wouldnt know eachother!! n i was his first love
its special n u cant touch it 
mwahahhahaha
me? boyfriend? i dont know wat you’re talkin about. *whistles innocently*
~CowgirlBebop + Dramamine Boy = <3LoVe<3
Well you were the one who ruined that love!! Exhibit A:
<3 JB [12.15.03]
you can ask anything of me,
i’ll be glad to…
~Taken from Judes525′s profile
Can you explain that?! Huh? Huh? OOO got you there! What now?!! What now??!?
~Patricia + Dramamine Boy= <3
LOVE
<3
shamrocks - 5:30 in the morning!?! I don’t think I’d be awake enough to laugh at 5:30 in the morning.
blondless - Hahaha… cinnamon bun-hair does it every time!
KittyKat7 - I’ll pay good money to make sure Jar Jar dies a horrible death in the next movie… I’M NOT KIDDING!
ramen_rider - Or any of the chase scenes or guns or Harrison Ford, either… hmmm, wonder what’s left?
dlordcletus - I dunno man, nobody’s kickin’ Yoda’s butt!!
CrazyGB - Hehehe… ya, I dunno what the parents were thinking when buying that hat.
neko_nog - Hahaha… thanks! You sure that ruptured spleen didn’t cause your illness?
MidoriSour - I think goofy big-bullet reloader guy only rates about a 2 on the Jar Jar scale.
waraso8 - Yeah, I liked the first one the best. Had to see the second and third ones just to see how the story ends.
sydney_chickie - Yeah, especially when I have a blog ready to go!
Keanu’s butt is just so.. so… ick. *turns away from screen*
nowitinvolved - Ya, LOTR is a lot better, but Matrix/Star Wars are pretty similar, so I compared those two instead.
And that means I can make fun of LOTR later.
hello_58701 - You’re not missing anything! Well, other than a crummy story put around cool special effects.
BaBybLuEyOsHi - Aw, come on! You didn’t watch ANY Star Wars movies? Don’t tell me Irwin watches nothing but chick flicks too!
lilchinadoll341 - WHAT!?!
makino81 - Hey, it takes a lot of work to be this disturbed!!
maryCherry22 - Wow! Another amazing idea that I missed out on! I need a new head of blogging!
Lilyny - It’s those alternate disasters that really make me happy that it turned out the way it is… kinda like if I had decided to put all my money into Enron stock.
Bloodberry - What the heck… REPLACED AGAIN!?!
gurkie - Welcome! I’m still a beginner at this whole Photoshop thing… I just figured out the other day that I’ve been putting these pictures together all wrong! =/
Shugadadeo - Hey, I didn’t know that. Darn those lame actors messin’ up Star Wars!! They let a little thing like DEATH get in the way of movie immortality!?!
CindyWang - But only one of them uses “whoa…” as his “go to” phrase for every acting situation!
BaBybLuEyOsHi - Well, I guess I could cut all my blogs up into little pieces in order to post every day.
cowboybone - I dunno, I’m having an awfully hard time following this story… and I’m IN it!
SaltedLemons - Hehehe… I’m tellin’ ya, Jar Jar has to go!!
X_PaperHeart_X - Woohoo coupon! Better be like buy one, get two free or somethin’!
COMS_K - Mercado? Where the heck is that!?! Is that even in California?
astrohooker - Ya, I have a few friends that haven’t seen any of them either… which is kinda why I saw the third Matrix movie by myself. =/
lilchinadoll341 - Okay, wait a minute now… are you not the same person that listed like 100 reasons why you love Boromir? WHERE’S THE TRUST!?!
Bloodberry - And now, let’s re-cap here… I’ve been replaced by that Final Fantasy dude, the Mickey Mouse dude and now a REAL dude!?!
hey i dono wat tricie’s talkin about. i mean, who’s judes525 anyway? she totally just made up that thing about my profile
and yea have you seen her xanga? its got like a billion nasty pictures of that boromir guy. UGH!! dram, you’re totally better than that dude.
~1LUV=Darren~
~judes
o..i’m so sure there’s another judes out there who was born on may 25th. Whatever Judes. And didn’t you get a teddy bear today from Sherry with your boyfriend’s picture in it? Yea, I thought so.
There are different sorts of love. The love I have for Boromir isn’t the same love I have for Dram. Boromir’s dead, so it’s not like I’m waiting for him to ride in on a white horse and sweep me off my feet. That and the fact that he’s, um, NOT REAL! I was only defending his character and explaining why I am a fan of his since certain people (ahem! Judes, michelle, jeff, vicky) don’t like him. Grr!
But Darren is my true love. And he’s actually real. So, BACK OFF, JUDES!! Give up and no one will get hurt. >.> I get the feeling JB wouldn’t be very happy if he found out you were still trying to get with your ex, and MY husband. ::shakes fist::
~TRUE LOVE=Darren~
~Patricia
Well, you stumped me with this one. I haven’t seen any of those movies, except for the original Star Wars. In fact, a guy came to the door yesterday touting some sort of promotional deal for movies, but when I told him the last movie I saw was The English Patient, he didn’t recognise it. Must have been before he was born.
alrite alrite so i do have a “boyfriend” or watever. but come on. you liked my poem rite?
at least give me that